cnairne

It's been... a while. I'm going to be uploading odds and sods from my sketching adventures!

I've done that thing I said I was going to do where I suddenly get sick of whatever style I'm currently working in and decide I hate it. In the least dramatic way possible.

It was a great way to get myself back into the swing but I don't think I'll continue these much further.

Then again, I will probably just do the same again but in a different style...

Time for therapy?

I am fully aware that trying new software won't make me magically better at drawing - However I think I would like to try it out. Does anybody here use it? Any advice, or good places to start looking for tutorials?

Those beloved watchers who followed me from my old account might have noticed a familiar pattern emerging. What begins as a doodle turns into the desire to draw a consistent set of characters in the same style. Then I become obsessed with making lists. Then I start to hate the style I've chosen or at least the choices I've made so far in interpreting those characters and before I know it I've lost interest in doing any personal work at all.

Ive been lying awake for a few hours thinking about why that may be.

On DA you are always a click away from fabulous work of other artists. As the website has become more streamlined, you don't even have to click to see it. If I upload a picture of Terra of Final fantasy VI, for example, it will be displayed next to thumbnail views of 'similar' work. Unfortunately for little old neurotic me, it is almost always more contextually rich, technically brilliant and a more interesting interpretation of the character than my humble doodle. I am immediately met with 9 examples of what my work could have been.

Before I go any further one thing is important to note - I am not blaming deviant art or the thousands of talented artists I see every day for my insecurities and failings. I love them both in immeasurable measure and I love how streamlined the website has become for browsing artwork. No, the blame for my insecurities and failings rests squarely with myself, and their manifestation is inevitable. They won't magically go away.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

I think it is time to stop being the victim of my own insecurity and taking charge of my work, my creative decisions and my motivation for drawing in the first place.

So how can I do this?

First, and most importantly, remember why I do what i do. (Somewhere between love, fanaticism and OCD.)

Second, accept that there will always be an endless amount of better work. Fact. For every work, there is a better one. And even among the most viewed, faved and commented work, the beholder cannot objectively claim one piece of work the best because it all goes subjective and wibbly.

Third, remind myself to think about what's really going on here. My little characters take a leisurely hour to two hours each - so of course they aren't going to shine like stars amongst all the work that other artists put considerably more time and effort into.

Last of all, stick to my guns. I'm going to draw what I want to draw, how I want to draw it, and enjoy the process that I love.

I never set out to be the best, or even brilliant. I started this account because I like to draw things a certain way, I love to draw characters and I compulsively need to make them consistent.

I can get distracted by torrents of gorgeous artwork, or I can accept that inevitability, befriend it, even, and keep going despite it. Play with it. There will always be work that is a thousand times better in a thousand ways than mine. Instead of deciding I hate my own work and losing my motivation, I will marvel then move on.

Life is too short to spend wishing you were better at something. Either practise and do what you need to do, or do something else. And I don't want to do something else, so there we are.

Hi there! I am driven mad by the compulsion to draw little characters. They're not big, clever or particularly mind-blowing, but I need to put them somewhere.

Expect fan art...